


I'll Like Whoever I want

by Zeedabee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Best Friends, Denial, F/M, M/M, POV Alternating, Pining, Slow Burn, Third Year Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio, Third Year Tsukishima Kei, Third Year Yamaguchi Tadashi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26631055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeedabee/pseuds/Zeedabee
Summary: "You don't believe in free will, right?""I lean more towards hard determinism if that's what you mean."Yamaguchi rolled his eyes. "So why is it so hard for you to believe that your soulmate is predetermined?""Because I think the idea of soulmates is stupid." And because Tsukishima strongly disagreed with the universe's choice for him.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei, Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 55





	1. Dream

Asinine. The entire concept could go rot in hell for all he cared. The idea of a soulmate was stupid enough on its own but to be guided towards that person by the contents of a dream soared beyond idiotic. Whatever cosmic forces ruled them must have done it for comedic value, it was the only way that he could have ended up living in a world where a fucking dream on your 18th birthday told you the initials of your soulmate. 

Absolute Fuckery. 

Worse yet was waking from that dream with those letters floating around in his head, turning every cubic inch of grey mass to mush. An S and an H. In that order, which of course didn’t have to be so bad. It could be someone that he was destined to meet later in life, hell it could even be someone that he would really like to meet. But the one person he knew with those initials had turned 18 months ago, and excitedly shared his soulmates initials with the group chat. 

_**Hinata**_  
Guys, guys, I had my dream. It was so weird! But KT guys!

 _ **Yachi**_  
Wow really?

 _ **Hinata**_  
Yeah, it was crazy, I was sitting on a porch and then TK floated right by my face! 

_**Yamaguchi**_  
Wait, I thought you said it was KT?

 _ **Yachi**_  
Right, is it KT or TK? 

_**Hinata**_  
HUh? Does it matter? 

_**Yamaguchi**_  
Yeah, you’re supposed to see the letters in order of first name last name. 

_**Hinata**_  
What?! Now I can’t remember which one was first.

 _ **Tsukishima**_  
What an idiot. 

_**Hinata**_  
Shut up! Dreams are hard to remember. 

_**Kageyama**_  
I don’t think I have dreams.

 _ **Yamaguchi**_  
Doesn’t everyone have dreams?

 _ **Yachi**_  
Maybe you just don’t remember them Kageyama.

 _ **Kageyama**_  
I’m pretty sure I don’t have them.

That was the conversation they’d had in June, and now in September Tsukishima was certain that he’d seen SH in his own dream. 

“God damn it.” He rubbed his hands over his face. 

As Tsukishima got ready for school fragments of his dream flickered through his head, he was already beginning to forget some of it, but the main events were still there. He’d been laying in a field watching the clouds roll by when he heard someone calling out from the distance. When he got up to look the entire volleyball team was a few feet away in uniform except everyone’s number had been replaced with the letters SH. 

How unbelievably stupid. On his walk to school, he couldn’t help replaying interactions he’d had with Hinata. There were lots of insults, lots of yelling on the other’s part mostly, a couple of fighting stances- not that he would ever bother fighting Hinata- and maybe a handful of ‘normal’ conversations. As normal as a conversation with Hinata could be at least. Tsukishima found that the other had two settings, one an uncontrolled explosion of energy and the other a controlled application of that same energy. He didn’t like either but the way that Hinata looked during the latter made him particularly uncomfortable. Something about the intensity in his eyes. 

He didn't like Hinata, so the dream meant nothing. Still, he thought about it the whole way to school, unfortunately. He resented letting a dream flood his thoughts with Hinata but the harder he tried not to think about him the more he did. 

“Happy Birthday Tsukki!” Yamaguchi was all smiles when he walked into their class and took his seat. 

“Thanks, Yamaguchi.” 

“I got you a slice of strawberry shortcake.” He placed the container on Tsukishima’s desk. 

“Thanks, Yamaguchi.” 

“So. . .” 

“So?” Tsukishima took his notebook out of his bag, pretending that he didn’t know what Yamaguchi was getting at.

“Did you have a dream? What were the letters?” 

“You know how I feel about that soulmate stuff.” 

“Yes, yes, it’s pointless, inaccurate, wishful thinking at best. A soulmate is just an idea that caters to an unrealistic view of love created and maintained by the media because it's easier for the masses to digest than the reality of the world we live in. Now did you have a dream or not Tsukki?” 

Tsukishima sighed. “If you still care about that you’ve missed the entire point of everything I had to say.” 

Yamaguchi huffed. “You take things too seriously. It’s like reading your horoscope, you can indulge in it and have fun without being married to it! Besides I’ve heard stories of people who find their soulmate for real.” 

“Self-fulfilling prophecy.” 

“What?” Yamaguchi tilted his head to the side and furrowed his brow.

Tsukishima shook his head slightly before explaining. “If everyone is sitting around waiting to fall in love with someone based on their initials then that expectation will affect how they treat whoever they meet with those initials and then they’ll fall in love based on that alone.” 

Yamaguchi groaned. "Tsukki, were there letters in your dream or not?” 

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “Yes.” 

“What were they?” Yamaguchi grabbed his arm. 

“I’m not going to tell you just so you can play matchmaker with me like you’ve been doing with Yachi.” 

“It's just something fun to do with Yacchan, it's not like we take it too seriously.” 

“Yacchan? When did you start calling her by a nickname?” 

“Well we hang out a lot,” Yamaguchi shrugged. “She doesn’t mind it. But anyway, I wouldn’t mind helping you try to find yours. Just tell me the letters, please?” 

Tsukishima shook his head. "I already said no, Yamaguchi. The whole thing is idiotic." 

Yamaguchi fell back in his seat, shoulders sliding forward. "You're no fun Tsukki." Yamaguchi went quiet for a few moments before straightening up his smile returning. "You don't believe in free will, right?" 

"I lean more towards hard determinism if that's what you mean." Tsukishima turned towards his friend to see where this was going.

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes. "So why is it so hard for you to believe that your soulmate is predetermined?" 

"Because I think the idea of soulmates is stupid." And because Tsukishima strongly disagreed with the universe's choice for him.

This all mattered a lot to Yamaguchi, arguably too much, and he didn't know why. He shut down every question that Yamaguchi had about the subject and it didn't stop his friend from asking more. Yamaguchi seemed stuck on finding a question that Tsukishima would answer and he wondered how much time would have to pass before he gave up on finding out.

“Have you ever liked someone with those initials?” 

“If so do you think they’d like you back?” 

“If you have an idea of who it might be, did their 18th birthday pass already or not?” 

“Are you maybe waiting for their 18th birthday so you can use it to confirm?” 

“If someone with those initials asked you out would you date them?”

Tsukishima had taken to not responding at all, and when the school day ended he was glad for volleyball practice. There would be some space between himself and Yamaguchi, which was not something he’d realized he enjoyed until recently. Yamaguchi was without a doubt his best friend, but lately, his presence felt overbearing. It wasn’t just the questioning about his dream either, things had been like this for quite some time.

“Okay, okay last question, I swear.” Yamaguchi stood in front of Tsukishima and looked up at him. “Is there a reason you won’t tell me about your dream? I mean besides how you feel about soulmate dreams and stuff.” 

Tsukishima looked back at him a little taken aback by the question. There _was_ a reason he wasn’t telling him, but how did he explain that without just telling him the reason? He could lie, but it didn’t feel right to do that when Yamaguchi looked so concerned about his answer. “Yes.” 

Yamaguchi frowned. “Okay, well I said that was my last question.” 

Tsukishima could tell that Yamaguchi was a little hurt by the answer. “It’s fine Yamaguchi, it’s not like we have to tell each other _every_ little thing. We’ll still always be friends.” He assured him.


	2. Friends

During lunch, Yachi pulled Yamaguchi away from the table with the rest of the volleyball team so they could eat alone. The other guys never teased Yachi about her search for her soulmate but she had felt uncomfortable discussing it in front of them initially. At this point, they had their lunches in an empty corridor out of habit alone. Still, Yamaguchi was thankful for it today.

“Okay, okay, I talked to Yamashita yesterday.” 

Yamaguchi took his lunch out. “Yeah?” 

“Yes, I didn’t say an awful lot but she is really nice.” Yachi sounded hopeful and Yamaguchi knew that was because Yamashita had been Yachi’s top pick out of the list. After a conversation about soulmates one day, Yamaguchi had helped Yachi compile a list of names that matched the initials she had dreamed of on her 18th birthday. Yachi had also rather shyly crossed off all the male names in a roundabout way of telling Yamaguchi that she preferred women. 

“I’m hoping that we can talk more and maybe become friends and well if it’s meant to be I’m sure we’ll end up together. If not at least I’ve got a new friend, right?” 

Yamaguchi’s smile faded as he nodded again. “Right,” He hated that he was envious of her optimism. “I hope it works out for you.” 

“Are you okay?” Yachi said softly. 

Yamaguchi stared down at his lunch instead of looking over at her. Of course, she’d noticed, he was usually so excited for her and he was barely engaged in the conversation today. “Sorry, I think I’m just a little sleep-deprived.” 

“Oh, was something keeping you up?” 

Yamaguchi rubbed his palm against his pants and nodded slowly. “Yeah, you could say that.” The thoughts that had kept him awake in bed came rushing back. 

“Well we always talk about me but if you want to talk about yourself I’ll listen.” 

Yamaguchi wanted to tell her or maybe he just wanted to verbalize the thoughts clouding his mind, but the moment he opened his mouth to speak he felt a lump swelling in his throat. His eyes started to burn and his whole face heated up. He bit down on his lip to stop it from quivering and swallowed hard. “I-” He let out a shaky breath. “That’s really sweet, Yacchan. Thank you.” His voice cracked as he spoke and apparently that was enough to send the first tear rolling down his cheek. 

Then Yachi gasped and looked around the corridor, obviously panicked. The sight should have made him laugh but Yamaguchi could only feel more tears falling. “Yamaguchi, what’s wrong?” 

“I’m fine.” His voice wavered as he spoke and he tried to force a smile to sell it but the way that Yachi looked back at him, with such unrestrained pity made that near impossible. 

“Yamaguchi.” Yachi placed her lunch aside and reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. He could, if nothing else, appreciate the fact that she didn’t plead with him to speak up. She just kept her hand there and waited for him. 

“It’s Tsukki.” He whispered. 

“Are you guys fighting?” 

Yamaguchi shook his head. “No.” Though he sort of wished that they were, it would be easier than this. “God, I’m sorry Yacchan.” 

“What are you apologizing for?” 

“For being so embarrassing and crying in front of you out of nowhere like this. It’s pretty pathetic.” He muttered. 

Yachi shook her head. “Please don’t apologize Yamaguchi. I promise it’s okay.”

Yamaguchi took a moment to steady his breath before he started speaking again. “You know how Tsukki’s birthday was yesterday? Well, I asked about his dream, I just really wanted to know the initials, and he wouldn’t tell me. A-and this is really really really stupid and so embarrassing to admit, but I’ve kind of secretly hoped that it would be me, for a long time.” He admitted. 

Yachi had taken her hand off of Yamaguchi’s shoulder to rest in her lap and she looked nothing but attentive as she listened to him speak. If it had been anyone else he might have felt uncomfortable at it, but it was nice not to see any judgment on her face. 

“I like him a lot and I have for a stupidly long time, but I never knew how I was supposed to tell him. I mean I tell him that he’s cool and he knows all the things that I like about him. I thought I was doing a good job of pushing this subliminal message but,” He sighed. “But he only thinks of me as a friend and I think that’s all I’ll ever be.” 

A fresh wave of tears rolled down his cheeks. “I’m obviously not his soulmate, he would have said something if I might have been, but it’s even worse that I can’t be someone he’d date either.” He tilted his head back and stared up at the ceiling. He was trying to get himself to stop crying when he felt Yachi’s arms wrapping around him. 

“I’m sorry Yamaguchi.” She laid her head against his chest and stayed there for a few moments. 

A hug didn’t change the fact that Tsukishima likely wasn’t his soulmate, it wouldn’t make his best friend like him and it wouldn’t even stop him from being sad about those things. But it still felt nice. So he hugged Yachi back. 

In the end, Yamaguchi was glad that he’d talked to Yachi about things, especially when practice ended and he saw Tsukishima lingering. They always walked home together but Yamaguchi still felt tender. Thankfully, Yachi had loudly made up a task that the two of them needed to get done so he told Tsukishima to leave without him.

“Thanks, Yacchan.” He whispered after Tsukishima left the gym.

Yachi smiled and nodded. “Mhm!” She gave him a thumbs up.

Yamaguchi smiled and looked over his shoulder at Kageyama and Hinata. “Don’t forget to lock up when you’re done, guys!” The rest of the team had cleared out and he didn’t have to ask to know that those two would stay a little longer to practice. 

“Okay captain!” Hinata saluted and waved them off. After they were gone he turned to Kageyama, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Now toss to me!” 

“Shut up! I already know.” Kageyama snapped, prompting Hinata to take a defensive stance. 

“Hwah! You wanna go!” Hinata raised his fists. 

“Just get over there dumbass!” 

Hinata grumbled as he moved across the court, but as he got ready for Kageyama to set he went quiet. They’d been working on using subtle signs so he watched the other closely, waiting for the tell before he began moving towards the right side of the court. He ran forward and timed his jump for the moment that the ball should have left Kageyama’s hand. 

Then ding and the ball flew past him, falling a few feet to his right. “Eh? What the hell Kageyama!” Hinata turned to glare at him but the other was already on the side of the court, picking up his phone from where it sat on top of his towel. Since when was Kageyama one to have his phone out in the gym? 

“What are you doing over there?” 

“Nothing,” Kageyama answered quickly, straightening up. “Sorry, I was expecting a text from someone.” 

“Do you have to leave?” 

Kageyama shook his head. “Let’s start again.” He jogged over to the net. 

Hinata nodded. “Mm, okay.” 

Kageyama set and Hinata spiked, running through the new set of signs they’d developed for about an hour before they stopped. Kageyama didn’t check his phone again, but Hinata definitely caught him looking in that direction a handful of times. They were in the clubroom changing when Hinata spoke up again. He had played with the idea of asking him about the phone a couple of times but ultimately decided on talking about something that had been bugging him for longer. “Tobio.” 

“Huh?” Kageyama looked at him over his shoulder. 

“Tobio Kageyama, TK.” Hinata looked him in the eyes. “You could be my soulmate, well if I’ve got the letters in the right order.” 

“No.” 

“No?” 

Kageyama went back to changing. “I’m not your soulmate. Unless they can be platonic.” 

“What? Do you hate me or something? I think I’d be a pretty good soulmate.” 

“No, but you’re my best friend, dummy,” Kageyama said simply. 

Hinata tried to ignore how warm and fuzzy hearing that made him feel. “People go from best friends to boyfriends all the time. So being best friends doesn’t make us _not_ soulmates.” 

“I see you as my friend. I could try to imagine you as something else but it seems like too much work. Why put in that much effort when it’s easier to just be friends with you?” 

“Huh.” Hinata finished getting dressed and picked up his bag. “I guess it would be a lot of work, I’ve never even thought of you in that way after all.” It almost felt like he’d have to force himself to think of Kageyama romantically. 

Kageyama rolled his eyes. “If you know that why would you bring up me being your soulmate in the first place?” 

“I guess because I’m worried. I’m sure I’d be a great soulmate but I don’t have any experience with dating, so I might mess things up ya know?” 

Kageyama joined Hinata at the door, walking out with him. “Isn’t your soulmate supposed to be the one person in the world that’s perfect for you? They shouldn’t care if you suck at relationships, you’ll learn to be better just like you did with volleyball.” 

Hinata left the clubroom and headed down the stairs. “What if my soulmate is a jerk?” 

“Then I won’t let you date them.” 

“What?” Hinata looked up at him and laughed. 

“I’m not going to let my best friend date an asshole.” 

Hinata blushed. “Awe, Yamayama-kun, you care about me.” Kageyama could be a good friend when he really tried and it made a sort of warmth bloom in his chest. “Thanks.”


	3. Studying

Kageyama tapped his pencil against the tabletop looking away from the book laid open in front of him. His eyes drifted to his phone, it hadn’t lit up since he last checked it about two minutes ago. Yet, he still pressed the button to check for any notifications. 

“Oi! We’re supposed to be studying together.” 

Kageyama looked over at Hinata and frowned. “I am studying.” 

“You aren’t. You’ve been on page five for thirty minutes. I don’t even read that slow. You know we’re third years, so you should take your grades more seriously.” 

“Why? I’m just going to play volleyball anyway.” Kageyama shrugged and looked back at his phone. 

Hinata rolled his eyes. “Takeda sensei told everyone to have a plan B when he talked with us third years. Don’t you remember?” 

“Hmph,” Kageyama smirked and sat back. “Why do I need a plan B when I’m already talking with a coach from a professional team.” 

Hinata’s jaw dropped, exactly as he’d predicted it would. “Nuh-uh, nuh-uh, l-liar!” He blurted out, slamming his hands on the table. 

“I’m serious.” Kageyama dropped the smirk and looked Hinata straight in the eyes. “I’m going to Japan’s V league after I graduate.” 

“How? That’s so unfair! Damn it Kageyama!” 

Kageyama bit his lip to hold back a smile. The corners of his lips still turned up slightly, he couldn’t help it. “Do you remember Ushijima? He’s been helping me out. Putting in a good word for me and helping me uh,” He paused, what was that word again? It was on the tip of his tongue. “Network.” He nodded. 

Again, Kageyama expected an over-the-top reaction from Hinata. A lot of yelling and obvious jealousy, he was winning of course. Instead, Hinata stared back at him in silence. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“You’re blushing!” All the energy he’d been expecting to see came rushing out. Hinata nearly knocked the table over as he jumped up just to point at his face. “A lot too, your face is all red!” 

“I’m happy, dumbass! I get to keep playing volleyball, with and against amazing players.” 

“Gah!” Hinata gripped fistfuls of his hair on either side of his head. “Shut up, shut up. That actually sounded so cool. I can’t believe you get to do that!” He fell back onto the floor with a loud thump. “Ahh!” 

Kageyama stopped trying to restrain his smile and let the big grin spread. He knew that his face had gotten redder. He could feel the heat pooling in his cheeks and a pleasant feeling fluttering in his gut. He was ecstatic. 

Bump. Hinata’s head connected with the table, drawing Kageyama’s attention to the mess of orange hair sitting there. “I’m happy for you.” 

“Huh?” Kageyama’s brows came together. He had been looking forward to telling Hinata about this for a while because he wanted to see his reaction. He knew it would get the other fired up and something about that fired him up, even when he felt like he was winning Hinata’s jealousy could push him a little further. 

“I said I’m happy for you!” Hinata repeated without lifting his head. “Friends congratulate each other don’t they?” 

“I guess so,” Kageyama mumbled. Their seniors would certainly congratulate him and he’d try to remember to message them about it especially Suga. Yamaguchi and Yachi would too, Tsukishima would say something snarky like a back-handed compliment but their juniors would drown that out with compliments. Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai would definitely praise him. But Hinata was supposed to scream, glare, and maybe get angry enough to jump at him or something so he wasn’t prepared for congratulations from him. He wasn’t prepared to be stirred on by it either, but it was almost better than relishing in his jealousy. “Thanks.” 

“The more accomplishments you have, the better it’ll be when I get to face you on the court again to beat you.” Hinata finally sat up straight and smirked over at Kageyama. 

Familiarity. “Heh, you have to get to the courts I’ll be playing on first, dumbass.” 

“Well, you still have to graduate first!” Hinata shot back. “I saw your test scores.” 

“Shut up! You’re failing too!” 

“That’s why we’re supposed to be studying!” Hinata pointed out the open books in front of them. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Studying alone with you was a stupid idea, I wish Yachi could have been here.” 

Kageyama looked down at his textbook and frowned. He’d rather talk about volleyball more. “Where is Yachi?” He reached for his phone. 

“With Yamaguchi.” Hinata snatched the phone up before he could grab it. “And I’m confiscating this.” 

“Give it back, dumbass!” 

“No, you need to focus. Read the chapter at least.”

Kageyama stared at him. “Since when do you care so much? We just have to pass.” 

“Since I don’t have anything to bank on like you do! I’m not going to get into college like the others and I don’t have pro teams scouting me. I _need_ to graduate high school and then I’ll just figure out the rest from there. I’ll hopefully get an okay job with my diploma and work on volleyball until I’m on the same court as you. But I know it’s not going to be handed to me, so can you please just study with me right now. It’s easier if I’m not doing it alone.” 

Hinata managed to surprise him again, and Kageyama had long since thought he had the other pinned down. Somehow, he also annoyed him, he didn’t like the hint of desperation that seeped into his voice as he spoke. “Fine I’ll study, but don’t be an idiot. I know that you’re going to make it too. Even if it takes you way longer than me.”


	4. Compliments

“Good morning, Tsukki!” A week, several phone calls with Yachi and a few teary-eyed nights later and Yamaguchi was starting to feel a little better. Good enough to return to normalcy with Tsukishima for sure, and maybe good enough for more.

“Good morning, Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima raised his hand in greeting as they joined each other on the path to school. 

“Your hair looks really nice today.” He smiled and gripped the strap of his bag tightly, noting but not commenting on the look of confusion that flashed across Tsukishima’s face. 

“Oh, thanks.” 

Yamaguchi nodded before he continued. “Yeah, it looks really soft and pretty.” He meant that of course but it wasn’t the sort of compliment he generally gave Tsukishima. He looked ahead and bit back the urge to take away what he’d said or to apologize for it. 

“I guess so,” Tsukishima mumbled. 

He was committed to giving Tsukishima compliments, the kind that should make it clear that Yamaguchi liked him as more than a friend. Yachi had encouraged him to do something about his feelings, and while he wasn’t confident enough to make a confession or ask him out he did want to act on these feelings he'd been bottling for so long. 

“Good morning, Tsukki!” 

“Good morning Yamaguchi.” 

“Your skin is so clear, what do you use?” 

“Huh? I just wash my face. I don’t use anything special.” 

Yamaguchi chuckled. “It must be nice to be so naturally pretty.” 

Tsukishima turned his head to look at Yamaguchi and narrowed his eyes. “I guess?” 

Yamaguchi looked back at him and put on a wide smile which was only a little bit forced. His nerves were still getting to him, even though he’d found something to compliment Tsukishima on every morning for this entire week.

At lunch, the third-years of the volleyball club all sat together. Yamaguchi beside Tsukishima as usual, with Yachi seated on his other side and Hinata and Kageyama across the table. When a conversation about exams ended Yamaguchi took his opportunity to speak up.“Doesn’t Tsukki have really pretty eyes?” 

Tsukishima, Kageyama, and Hinata stared at Yamaguchi and might as well have just screamed ‘what the hell dude’. Fortunately, Yachi was there to help him out. She nodded rapidly. “Mm, mm. I think Yamaguchi is right, just look at his eyes.” 

Yamaguchi smiled, thankful for that encouragement. “Yeah, they’re a really pretty shade of light brown. Like honey!” And they _were_ , especially when the light caught them just right. On a sunny day, Tsukishima’s eyes practically glowed. 

Hinata leaned forward in his seat to get a better look, peering into Tsukishima’s eyes. “Like honey? Yamaguchi are you sure about that?” He hovered over the table to see better. 

Tsukishima shoved him back. “Get out of my face.” 

“Tsukishima’s eyes are dull,” Kageyama said as he rolled his own. 

“Oh my, I think my heart might break. I’ve been looking for your approval for _so_ long Kageyama. How could you say something so mean to me.” Tsukishima said in a clipped tone with a deadpan face. 

“Stop it! I hate it when you talk to me like that.” Kageyama glared. 

“Why? Is it because the sarcasm is too much for your brain to process?” 

While Kageyama bristled and shot insults back at Tsukishima, Yachi and Yamaguchi shared a look. It was hard not to feel discouraged her smile helped though if only just a little. 

They had volleyball practice later that day and when the week ended he didn’t think that Tsukishima understood his feelings any better than he had seven days ago. Maybe compliments alone weren’t enough, Yamaguchi had never really flirted before so he could very well be doing it wrong. Tsukishima was smart and observant after all, how could he not see it if Yamaguchi were doing things right. 

Yamaguchi stared up at his ceiling until his thoughts became overwhelming. He was too far into his own head, so he called Yachi which had become quite the habit of his. At times he’d feel guilty about that but she helped to ground him and insisted that she didn’t mind when he apologized for bothering her. 

“Yacchan, I don’t think it’s working.” 

“What do you mean? What’s not working?” 

Yamaguchi slid from his bed to the floor, sitting hunched over with his knees drawn up. “Flirting with Tsukki.” 

“Why do you say that?” 

“I’m obviously grossing him out.” Yamaguchi insisted. 

“Well, he didn’t seem very grossed out when you complimented him at lunch.” 

“Did you not see the way he looked at me, Yacchan?” He muttered, unapologetically dejected. “He thinks I’m so weird. I know it.” 

“Yamaguchi, he didn’t really seem grossed out. I would say surprised more than anything. Maybe he just doesn’t like compliments, not everyone does.” 

“Then what am I supposed to do?” Yamaguchi whined and if he hadn’t become so comfortable around Yachi he would have been embarrassed by the pathetic quality the noise held. 

“It’s okay Yamaguchi, maybe you should change your approach. Do you know Tsukishima’s love languages?” 

“His what?” 

“Everyone has a love language and it’s the way that you receive and give love the best. There are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. The name explains what each one is basically. Number one for me is acts of service, closely followed by quality time and words of affirmation. I just really like doing things to help out the people I care about. Which makes being the volleyball club’s manager a lot of fun.” She chuckled. 

Yamaguchi smiled, Yachi was too sweet for her own good. 

“Well anyway, since you don’t know Tsukishima’s love languages, maybe you can find out through the process of elimination. Just try and see what he responds to the best.” She suggested. 

Yamaguchi thought it over, it didn’t sound like such a bad idea. He might find a way to lightly flirt without making Tsukishima so uncomfortable and then his friend would hopefully be able to pick up on it. “Yeah, I think I’ll try that. Thanks, Yacchan, sorry for calling you just to complain.” 

“Don’t worry Yamaguchi, I’m happy to help however I can.” 

Yamaguchi smiled. “You’re honestly super helpful, I’d probably be a mess if I didn’t have you to turn to so thanks again. Do you want to have lunch alone together tomorrow so we can talk about Yamashita?” 

“Who?” 

“The girl in your class. Yamashita Tomiko? You were getting to know her right? I think I’ve been monopolizing our conversations lately so you haven’t said much about how that’s going.” 

“Oh,” Yachi laughed. “Yeah, yeah we can talk about that tomorrow.” She promised. 

Tsukishima frowned. “Keep walking, shrimp.” 

Hinata frowned right back at him. “What are you doing? Hiding?” 

“Go away.”

“Why?” 

“Because I _am_ hiding and you’re going to give it away with your loud ass mouth.” He hissed. 

“Hey!” Hinata glared. “You don’t have to be-” 

Tsukishima clamped his hand over Hinata’s mouth and pulled him into the alcove. Yamaguchi was on his way down the hallway that ran perpendicular to this one and if he was lucky the other would continue straight on his pathway without seeing him. 

“Mmph!” Hinata’s eyes went wide and he immediately began to put up a fight, his arms flailing wildly. 

“Shut up, Yamaguchi’s going to see you!” Tsukishima snapped. If Hinata kept this up Yamaguchi would either see or hear them and head this way. 

Hinata stilled, then tilted his head back and looked up at Tsukishima. “Hm?” 

Tsukishima groaned. “It’s none of your business.” 

Hinata narrowed his eyes. “Hm?” 

“Shut up.” Tsukishima hissed ducking his head back after Yamaguchi’s steps began to slow. Damn it was he coming this way or not? 

“Hm?” 

Oh, what an asshole. A look of disdain overtook his face as he realized that Hinata was being loud intentionally. “If you shut the fuck up I’ll tell you, okay?” 

“Mhm.” Hinata nodded. 

Tsukishima shuddered as he felt him smiling against his palm, it made his skin crawl.


	5. Space

“Yamaguchi has been really clingy lately,” Tsukishima mumbled, leaving his hiding spot only after he was sure that the other had given up on searching for him. 

“Isn’t he always? You guys are together all the time.” Hinata pointed out, furrowing his brow. 

“Yeah we hang out a lot, but he isn’t usually so, so,” Tsukishima’s brows came together as he searched for the right word, one hand waving through the air. “He’s been _weird_.” 

“You’re not making any sense.” Hinata rolled his eyes. 

Tsukishima groaned. He should have known better. Hinata — volleyball for brains — Shoyo would never get it. “Just forget it.” This was a waste of time. 

“If you think he’s being annoying then just say that.”

“What?” Tsukishima stared at Hinata. “Yamaguchi isn’t annoying. He’s just been. . .” Suffocating him. “A little too much lately.” 

Hinata tilted his head to the side and hummed. “Yeah, no. I still don’t get it. Explain more.” 

Frustration welled inside of him directed at either Hinata or his own inability to verbalize the issue, perhaps both. 

“Everything is different, he won’t shut up. He’s always too close to me. He praises every little thing that I say.” Tsukishima loved the comfortable silences they used to fall into, but those were long gone. Along with any shed of respect Yamaguchi had for his personal space. “Something about the way we were with each other changes every single day and I liked the way it was before.” 

“Did you tell him that?” 

“What?” 

“Did you tell Yamaguchi that you don’t like the change?” Hinata stared up at him and maintained eye contact for too long, too intensely. It should be illegal to look at people like that and Hinata did it so casually. 

“No, but you’d think that someone would get the hint after you tell them to shut up.” Tsukishima broke the staring contest first, only to roll his eyes, making a point of not looking back into Hinata’s.

“Yeah but you’re _you_.” 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He glared at him. 

“It means that you say or do things you don’t really mean sometimes. You’re almost always hiding how you really feel about stuff, aren’t you? Like when you tell Yamaguchi to shut up because he embarrassed you but he knows he doesn’t really have to shut up because all it means is that you’re awkward. Even right now, you’re just scared but you won’t say it.” 

Tsukishima hated this. He wished he could take back everything he’d said. He should have lied instead, but he wanted to talk about this, didn’t he? “I’m not scared, dumbass.” 

“You are, but I don’t know what you’re scared of.” 

“I am not scared. I’m annoyed. I can tell when someone is dropping hints. Yamaguchi is trying to tell me something without _telling_ me. And it’s something I’d rather not be told.” 

“What the heck are you even saying?” The intensity in Hinata’s eyes faded as confusion took over. The way he looked with his face scrunched up and eyes narrowed somehow put Tsukishima at ease. He, if nothing else, knew what to expect from a Hinata that looked like that. 

“It feels like Yamaguchi wants to confess to me, okay?” 

“Oh,” Hinata blinked. 

“I don’t like him like that.” 

“Still, just talk to him about it. That’s what Kageyama and I did.” 

“Ew, what?” 

“It’s not gross! And it’s not like I _liked_ him. I was just trying to figure out if it would be possible for me to like him, ya know cause of my soulmate dream.” 

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “Leave it to you to start liking someone just because of a dream.” 

“I didn’t start liking him! We just talked and that’s what you need to do with Yamaguchi.” 

“Our situations really aren’t similar dumbass.” 

“Either way you should still talk to him. Just think about your options, you say nothing and things get weirder or you say it and you can both move past it.” 

“Ugh, the last thing I want is advice from you.” Hinata had a point though, even if Tsukishima really really didn’t want to be listening to him. 

“Why do you hate me?” Hinata blurted out, balling his hands into fists. 

“I don’t hate you, it’s just that you’re annoyingly loud, over-talkative, a try-hard, impulsive, reckless, stupid, weird, and prone to spouting off nonsense.” He could go on, about how his endless supply of cheer and determination made him sick, but Hinata started talking again with that god damn look in his eyes.

“We’ve been teammates for three years and even though _you’re_ annoying I’ve tried to be your friend a couple of times.” Hinata managed to lock eyes with him again and he couldn’t bring himself to look away this time. “I’m trying to be your friend right now, so just shut up and listen! It sounds like you’re worried about your friendship with Yamaguchi getting all messed up and I get that but you’ve gotta see that if you just ignore this it’s going to hurt him and mess up your friendship anyways. He’s probably going out on a limb for you. He’s just as scared, so acknowledge his feelings and let him know you’ll still be his friend. If you care about him that’s the least you can do.” 

“Hey, Yamaguchi. Do you mind hanging back for a minute? I want to walk home with you. Alone.” Tsukishima’s stomach flipped when Yamaguchi looked at him nodding rapidly and smiling wide. "There's something I want to talk about.” 

“Of course, Tsukki!” 

Tsukishima watched their teammates leave from the clubroom. Hinata talked animatedly with a group of their juniors, all of whom somehow looked up to him, figuratively. It usually annoyed him, the way Hinata ate up the attention and praise from them, but he watched for a bit longer. 

“So what do you want to talk about?” Yamaguchi adjusted his bag on his shoulder after he’d gotten his shoes on. 

Hinata broke off from the crowd, just for a moment, long enough to turn around and smile at him, giving a thumbs up. Tsukishima sighed and returned his attention to Yamaguchi. “I guess I want to talk about us.” He mumbled, starting to walk slowly. The hopeful look adorning Yamaguchi’s face was too much for him. 

Tsukishima waited for the distance between them and the rest of the group to grow. “We’ve been friends for a long time now, yeah? And I think we’re good friends, I mean I’ve never been this close to anyone else so even if it’s kinda lame to say out loud I would call you my best friend.” He mumbled, looking away again because Yamaguchi looked far too excited. 

“I’d call you my best friend too, Tsukki!” 

“Right, well since we are such good friends and I don’t want us to stop being friends I feel like I have to tell you this.” Tsukishima inhaled slowly and tipped his head back to stare up at the sky. A few small clouds here and there but it was mostly blue. “I - correct me if I’m wrong - feel like you’ve been flirting with me lately and it’s been making me . . . uncomfortable.” He couldn’t bring himself to face Yamaguchi completely so he glanced over out of the corner of his eye. Just in time to witness all the hope and excitement shift to dread. 

“U-uncomfortable?” Yamaguchi’s voice cracked. 

Tsukishima nodded. 

Yamaguchi laughed abruptly. “No, don’t be crazy! God, I wasn’t flirting we’re _friends_. Yachi told me about, well about this thing and I was trying it out. In a platonic way, Tsukki. I guess I went overboard cause I wanted to figure out the best way to be platonically affectionate to you. It’s so hard to figure you out though so I thought that maybe you secretly liked that kinda stuff or something. It sounds so stupid saying it now, awe man. I'm so sorry.” 

Tsukishima hadn't realized that his shoulders were tense until he felt them lowering slightly.“Really?” Yamaguchi sucked at lying. “That’s a relief. Maybe I was just overthinking things.” He didn’t think that he had. However, if the alternative was seeing Yamaguchi hurt and upset then he preferred whatever they were doing right now.

“Well, I don’t secretly like being complimented all the time or having you so close. I like just hanging out the way we always did, you know? No pressure, no expectations, no random outings, that kinda thing.” 

Yamaguchi smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I get it, Tsukki.” 

“Great.” Tsukishima shoved his hands into his pockets. “Oh, but I did like those cookies. You can do that to show platonic affection whenever.” 

Yamaguchi snorted. “Oh yeah? Well, Yacchan sent me the recipe, then monitored me over video chat to make sure I made them properly with the right measurements and all, so thank her. If I make them again I might bring some for the whole team.”

Tsukishima made a face. “Ew, don’t make cookies for Hinata and Kageyama. They suck.”

Yamaguchi laughed. “They’re our teammates, Tsukki.” 

“They still suck.” He chuckled. 

“I’m your captain and I think you should be nicer to them.” 

“And if I don’t?” 

“I’ll make you run suicides in the gym,” Yamaguchi smirked. 

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

“Try me.” 

“This is an obvious abuse of power.” Tsukishima struggled to process the fact that Hinata had been right, but he was thankful nonetheless. Even if he would never say as much to him. 

“No, an abuse of power would be finding a way to pair you up with Hinata for every practice between now and winter break.” 

“Yamaguchi!” Tsukishima glared.


	6. Denial

“Yamaguchi, I’m so sorry.” Yachi bowed her head. She trapped her bottom lip between her teeth to contain the word vomit threatening to spill out. Keeping it all in only amplified the roar of the thoughts inside of her. She gave Yamaguchi terrible advice on a subject she knew far too little on. She invited unnecessary strain into his friendship with Tsukishima. She pushed him because she couldn’t push herself to act in those ways. 

“It’s okay, Yacchan. You were trying to help and I’m still grateful for that.” She lifted her head only to be met with a smile shredding her heart to pieces. Yachi knew what Yamaguchi looked like when he smiled for food, for perfecting his serve, for being elected as captain, for winning a match, for acing a test, for seeing his friends happy and now she knew what he looked like when he smiled to hide his resentment towards a friend. 

“Aren’t you sad?” 

“Well, I’m something.” Yamaguchi’s smile dropped. “But I’m not really sure what that something is. It felt like a huge rock dropped into the pit of my stomach. I thought that I’d be bawling as soon as I got home, but I didn’t.”

“Not at all?” Yachi whispered her voice full of thinly veiled disbelief. 

“Not at all. I know that’s shocking, trust me. I’m shocked too. But maybe it’s because Tsukki rejected me so nicely.” He chuckled and shrugged. 

The remains of Yachi’s tattered heart burst into flames. “Yamaguchi you’re in denial. I gave you bad advice, super bad advice. I know it won’t fix anything but you can yell at me, okay? I can take it.” She couldn’t, the thought alone had her near tears. 

“Yachan,” Yamaguchi placed a hand on her shoulder softly. “I’m not mad at you, I promise. I don’t blame you either. I never actually confessed to Tsukishima, but for a little bit of time he had some idea of how I felt and that’s thanks to you. I would have never done it on my own otherwise. But maybe I don’t like him as much as I always thought that I did. I mean, Tsukki is great but would he and I ever be great together? We can’t see eye to eye about soulmates. He hated the love language acts that I enjoyed giving the most, and well to be honest the more that I think about it the more that I feel like I never liked him at all you know? Maybe I was just confusing friendship for romantic feelings, I can count the number of crushes I’ve had on one hand. I’ve never dated anyone, so what do I know about these things? I think I just projected the idea of a boyfriend onto Tsukki and made it fit when it didn’t. I don’t even know what liking someone is supposed to feel like.” 

_Yachi scrolled past messages about practice, upcoming matches, and boosting team morale until she found the ones dated June 21. There Hinata had casually shared the contents of his dream. How? Kageyama or Tsukishima potentially matched the initials, yet he’d told them as if it didn’t matter that they did. Did it matter? Hinata obviously didn’t have feelings for Tsukishima, none that he’d shown before or after having his dream. And while his relationship with Kageyama was complex she didn’t think he had feelings for him either._

_So she should be able to tell the group because she did not have feelings for Yamaguchi and he’d understand that. Unless she explained it wrong._

_She might mix up her words which would lead Yamaguchi to believe that she had secret feelings for him. And if the others saw that then they might tease her for it? Yachi couldn’t recall a single time at which any member of the volleyball team teased her, though they did tease each other an awful lot. She could be opening herself up to an onslaught of attacks by simply opening up. Tsukishima could jokingly say that she and Yamaguchi should get married and then she would have to explain why she wouldn’t marry Yamaguchi._

_Why wouldn’t she marry Yamaguchi? He was objectively attractive and despite maturing still had a boyish cuteness to him. Something about those freckles dusting his cheeks or maybe the way his hair framed his face. Why wouldn’t she marry Yamaguchi? All of the guys treated her nicely, but he’d made it a point to always be considerate. He seemed to understand when she got anxious so he could talk her down in a way that didn’t make her seize up. She knew he got good marks in school too. Yamaguchi was the well-rounded sort of guy that her mother would definitely like if she brought him home. In her, almost three years of knowing him Yachi had seen Yamaguchi be compassionate, determined, committed, kind, funny, intelligent, brave, and dependable. Why wouldn’t she marry Yamaguchi?_

_Yachi’s phone dinged._

_**Yamaguchi**  
Happy birthday Yacchan!_

_**Hinata**  
Yachi!! Happy birthday!!! Woo!_

_**Tsukishima**  
Happy birthday. _

_**Kageyama**  
Happy birtday. _

_**Tsukishima**  
Birtday? Idiot. _

_**Hinata**  
Hahahaha birtday_

_**Kageyama**  
Shut up!_

_**Tsukishima**  
Learn to spell first. _

_**Yachi**  
Thanks everyone. _

_Yachi stared at her phone. Yamaguchi wished her happy birthday first, she appreciated it, really. But a part of her wished that he had forgotten. Then she’d have a reason, a rebuttal when Tsukishima teased her about marrying him. Right now all she had was a growing list of pros to marrying Yamaguchi Tadashi._

_Yamaguchi Hitoka? This was it! She liked her family name and she’d lose that when she got married. But then again Yamaguchi always considered others before himself so he’d probably let her keep her name. Yamaguchi-Yachi Hitoka. It had a sort of pleasant ring to it, didn’t it? Yachi dropped her phone, groaning into a pillow._

_While she got ready for school she wracked her brain for reasons to not marry Yamaguchi. It proved to be a difficult task. So difficult in fact, that she was unable to come up with one before the school day ended and volleyball practice began._

_“Hi, Yacchan. There was something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Yamaguchi walked up and smiled. “You disappeared so fast at lunch, so I didn’t get to talk to you, but—”_

_Yachi spoke without thinking. She’d been thinking all day and it had gotten her nowhere so why not just blurt out the first thing on her mind._

_“T Y! I had my dream and I saw T Y. I’m positive of it because in the dream I was at my desk drawing, working on this piece for hours and I did everything meticulously to make sure it was perfect. When I held it up it was clear as day a huge canvas with T Y done in fancy calligraphy all surrounded by these miniature realistic hearts. Not the cutesy ones. They were diagrams of the actual human heart but it’s not as gross as it sounds I swear!”_

_Yamaguchi blinked slowly. “Um, I was actually going to ask if you collected those waivers from the first years yet. They need them filled out by a parent before they can travel on the bus with us. But uhm that’s good news. I’m happy for you, T Y, like my initials huh?”_

_“Huh?”_

_“You said that your dream was about T Y, didn’t you?”_

_“Oh.” It was happening. “Yeah but obviously not you!” Yachi laughed. “Not that there’s anything wrong with you, the only thing wrong here is that you’re not a girl.” She laughed harder. “Cause I like girls. A lot.” Not a lie. “I’ve never even had a crush on a guy before,” Also not a lie, technically. “And you’d think that the manager for a sports team would develop at least one crush after hanging out with guys all the time, but not me.” Maybe this excuse would work. Yamaguchi definitely wouldn’t propose after hearing this. That was for certain. Never._

_“You’re all like brothers to me! I’m so glad to spend all my time hanging out with so many men, and even the new manager is a guy, so it’s just men men men. And no women for Yachi to fall in love with because I’m devoting all of my time to this club and my studies! Guess I won’t find my soulmate until after high school, except college will probably be a lot of work so who knows if I’ll have time then. But after that- well maybe not because after that I’ll start my career and be working all the time. So maybe I won’t ever find my soulmate or worse I meet them while I’m on my deathbed and then they have to watch me die. Only a really terrible person would subject their soulmate to something so tragic. My soulmate is definitely going to hate me.” Yachi’s breaths became quick and panicked. She held the papers Yamaguchi had asked about moments ago with a death grip, effectively crumpling them. “Oh no, no, no, no, no—”_

_“Hey, Yachi, earth to Yachi. You’ve got to take a deep breath, okay? Look at me and breathe.” Yamaguchi’s voice grounded Yachi long enough to pull her out of the neverending cloud of what-ifs swirling in her mind._

_She looked up at him with a few tears pricking at her eyes and nodded as she breathed in slowly._

_“Good, good. I think you’re overreacting a little, but if you’re that worried about missing your soulmate I’d be happy to help you find her. It could be someone here at Karasuno you know. And you help so much with the club it would be the least I could do. You know their initials so we can find out if anyone in your class matches up, kay?” So considerate._

Yachi lurched forward, throwing her arms around Yamaguchi and hugging like her life depended on it. His hand rested atop her head. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that I’m the one comforting you after a rejection.” He teased.

“I’m really sorry, Yamaguchi.”

“Don’t worry. I can’t really explain it but talking to you always helps me out.” 

“But I’ve barely said anything.” She lifted her head to look up at him. 

“Well, maybe it’s your presence that helps like I know that you won’t judge me and that you’ll try to understand. That in itself is really helpful.” Yamaguchi smiled at her. "And don't worry, I won't let this turn me into some bitter person. I'll still help you find your soulmate, I promise."


	7. Disagreement

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima found a new normal. Their friendship stayed the same in some ways and changed in others, not entirely different, not completely the same. 

"I had this really weird dream the other night," Yamaguchi started, taking a seat on the floor. The desk was open but he preferred the floor sometimes. 

Tsukishima hummed and Yamaguchi knew that meant he was listening. 

"I was swimming in a lake filled with these huge colorful fish, some of them kinda looked like koi, but they were in every color of the rainbow." There was more, Yamaguchi remembered a lot of details from the dream but he worried that he'd lose Tsukishima if he dragged on too long. So he cut to the point instead. "I started to float on my back and up in the sky I saw the letters H Y." 

Tsukishima sat on his bed, bag in his lap so he could take out his study materials. "You had your soulmate dream?" 

"Yeah, my birthday was a week ago, so." Yamaguchi's birthday went well, a small party with the other third years courtesy of Yachi. 

"You didn't say anything though." 

"Because you didn't ask." Which had almost hurt more than being quasi-rejected by his best friend. Tsukishima could at least feign interest for his sake but he was too busy avoiding any and all conversations about soulmates. 

"You know how I feel about that stuff." 

"And you know that it's important to me." Yamaguchi countered, slouching forward and thumbing over the pages of his textbook. "Can't you pretend to care a little, Tsukki?" Friends did that, right? 

"I'm not going to lie to make you feel better." 

"It's not the same as lying." Though Yamaguchi would and had lied to make Tsukishima feel better. If the end justified the means then it wasn't so bad.

Tsukishima scoffed. "Call it whatever you want. A lie is a lie." 

In some ways, Yamaguchi liked that he and Tsukishima didn't always see eye to eye. It made conversations more interesting or opened Yamaguchi's mind to a new perspective. At times having someone who would argue their beliefs so strongly helped solidify his own convictions. Right now might be one of those occasions. 

"I'm going to tell Yachi about my dream." Tsukishima had a response ready, Yamaguchi could tell by the way his brows came together but he didn't give him the chance to speak. "She's obviously nice, and cute too of course but it's more than that. She listens when I talk, like really listens and tries so hard to be helpful and understanding and her presence is so calming. I feel like I can talk to her about anything and I _want_ to tell her everything. So I'm pretty sure that I like her. Telling her seems like the right thing to do." 

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. "So you had a dream with her initials and now you're convincing yourself that you're into her." 

"It's not like that!" Yamaguchi insisted. "My feelings didn't just appear because of the dream, they were there before." 

"Since when?" Tsukishima crossed his arms over his chest. 

Yamaguchi reminded himself that he was doubling down. That meant he would not be swayed by that smug look on Tsukishima's face. "I don't know," he began, "it's not like some switch flipped inside of me. It probably happened gradually after we started to spend more time together looking for her soulmate. But," Yamaguchi lowered his voice, fingers drumming against the cover of his notebook. "If I had to pick a time it was probably two months ago. I was worried about. . .other stuff." About Tsukishima. "So I don't think I noticed it, but looking back now I started to have feelings for her after I vented about some, well some stuff." Again, Tsukishima. 

"What stuff?" 

"Just stuff," Yamaguchi shrugged, withering when Tsukishima's eyes stayed fixed on him. "What? It's not like friends have to tell each other _every_ little thing, right?" 

Tsukishima huffed. "Of course not." 

"Great." 

Yamaguchi frowned as Tsukishima shifted forward, setting his study materials aside, a clear sign that he was devoting his full attention to this conversation. 

"Yachi is not your soulmate." 

Yamaguchi kept his own textbook in his lap. "She could be," he whispered. 

"Except she likes girls." 

"Then there's no harm in me telling her I dreamt of her initials. She did tell me about hers." Unlike a certain someone. 

"But the very act of telling her is sort of like you're manipulating her, isn't it?" 

"What?" 

"Yachi might like you and she might not, but if you tell her that you dreamt of her initials when you know she already dreamt of yours then you're just leading her into the line of thinking that benefits you most, aren't you?" 

Yamaguchi shook his head rapidly and even though that had _never_ been his intention he doubted himself for a moment. But, Tsukishima loved to play devil's advocate and he didn't really mean that did he? He said it to prove a point, to make Yamaguchi question himself the same way that he always did during their arguments. Except, this time Yamaguchi wanted to make Tsukishima think.

Tsukishima continued before Yamaguchi could respond. "Maybe manipulation is the wrong word, I know you aren't trying to do that but you have to admit the facts. You want her to like you so you're going to tell her she might be your soulmate and then she's going to entertain that idea whether she believes it or not. She probably doesn't like you and you probably don't like her either you're just lonely or something. Do you really want to mess up the friendship you have now for some stupid dream?" 

Yamaguchi brought the textbook up, holding it firm against his chest fingers still lightly tapping the cover. He stayed quiet, organizing his thoughts before he spoke again. Tsukishima won their debates more often than not, he won virtually every debate when he cared enough to argue. But this was a matter of the heart and between the two of them, Yamaguchi had more experience, right? 

"Okay, I hear what you're saying, I really do. But you're coming at this from the perspective of someone who doesn't believe in soulmates, yeah? So from the perspective of someone who does believe in soulmates, it's sort of cruel to keep this information from her, isn't it?" 

The crease between Tsukishima's eyebrows deepened, he opened his mouth and closed it without speaking. It might have been silly but it made Yamaguchi hopeful. He'd said something that made Tsukishima think, at least a little. 

"No, it isn't cruel." So that wasn't what he'd been hoping for but he listened anyway. "If this soulmate thing works then it won't matter if you don't tell her. You two are, hypothetically, of course, destined to be together. Tell her or not and you'll end up together." 

Yamaguchi trudged on. "If my soulmate is predetermined then it shouldn't matter if I tell her or not. If I do and we aren't meant to be then we won't be and if we are then it'll only expedite the process, right?" Tsukishima wasn't always the most expressive but it was just the two of them and Yamaguchi could see frustration settling into the lines on his face. "The way that I see it, our soulmates are people that we're meant to find. That's why we have our dreams in the first place, I think. If the universe wants me to find that person it would make sense that we'd be brought together somehow, so even if Yachi might not be my soulmate I want to try. There's too big a chance that some cosmic force is putting this opportunity here for me to take. I could do nothing but I think there's more to lose if I keep it to myself, Tsukki. And I really do like her, I can't make you believe that but I do." 

Silence settled between them before Yamaguchi spoke up again. 

"I'm going to tell her." 

"I think you shouldn't." 

Yamaguchi pulled Yachi into the stairwell on the far side of the school because the bare concrete, exposed pipes, and distinct echo felt familiar. They'd spent countless lunch hours here with each other. He needed to be in a place where they wouldn't be interrupted, he might lose his resolve otherwise. Yachi took a seat at the bottom of the stairs leading to the third floor. Yamaguchi stayed standing on the second-floor landing. "I had my soulmate dream and the initials I saw were yours." Straight to the point. 

Yachi's face disappeared into her knees before Yamaguchi had a chance to read her reaction. 

"I know that won't really mean much but I thought I should tell you." He looked down the empty hall. "I told Tsukishima about it first and," he hesitated, "he thinks that I’m being selfish and I guess maybe I am." He shrugged. "I'm not really sure anymore. He kinda has this way of making me question myself." Yamaguchi chuckled dryly. "But I _think_ that I like you at least a little and it's part of the reason I wanted to tell you. But not the only reason. I also owe it to you, you told me yours and I know that you care about finding your soulmate as much as I do a-and I also know that you prefer girls. I know that I can't change that, not like I'd want to. I just want to be upfront about my feelings. So yeah, I guess that sort of sums up my feelings or I hope that it does at least." 

Yamaguchi stopped talking, waiting for Yachi to chime in. She never did. He couldn't see her face, but the tips of her ears did look red. 

"I still want us to be friends of course and if you want I'll keep helping you look for your soulmate." 

Yamaguchi stepped back, leaning against the wall as time slowed down to a crawl. He couldn't read her mind and filling his head with what-ifs wouldn't help. He tried to think of anything else, like how cool the wall felt against his back or the texture of the wall beneath the palm of his hand. However, he found his mind preoccupied with the size of the space, or the lack thereof. Yachi was still so close, even with his back to the wall, and the way she curled in on herself he could reach out and touch her. 

"Yachi, are you okay?" He asked tentatively breaking the prolonged silence. 

Yachi shook her head without lifting her face up from her knees. 

Yamaguchi didn't know what to do. Words came tumbling out and he didn't stop them. "I've had a crush on my best friend for at least a year now and I got rejected without ever confessing." If he could turn back time then Tsukishima would know for certain that he'd been flirting, but he couldn't so now Tsukishima knew with near certainty that Yamaguchi had lied. "I know that I should let go of my feelings but I don't want to. I want to keep liking Tsukki because it's so familiar. The rejection sucks, but I don't think it's the worst part anymore. I think the worst part is that I don't know if I'm using the right words for my feelings. I wanna say that I like Tsukki and I wanna say that I like you, but those two feelings are not the same. I can't make heads or tails of it." 

"Then, are you going to ask me out?" 

Yamaguchi almost missed the question. "Wh-what? No! You're a close friend and I know that you don't like me but like I said I wanted to be. . .transparent?" 

Yachi exhaled, her shoulders seemingly shaking. "Good, I don't think I'd be able to say no." 

Wait. "What does that mean?" 

"Yachi?" Yamaguchi pushed off the wall. "I don't understand are you saying—" 

"I have to go, Yamaguchi." Yachi stood abruptly. "I'll see you tomorrow!" She turned and ran up the stairs, exiting at the door of the third-floor landing.


End file.
